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Writer's pictureVenture Dog Training

Why Does My Dog React When We Hug or Kiss? Insights and Solutions

Updated: Aug 16


I knew things were getting serious with the girl I was dating when she had me meet her dog for the first time. Her dog meant the world to her. He was in all of her Instagram pictures, the main topic she bragged about on our dates, and even had a copy of her dog’s tag on her key chain.

“This is Scooby” she greeted. A miniature poodle came running at me and we soon became best friends. Every time I’d come over, he’d run up to me with a big doggy smile and often followed me around the house. But, as Scooby’s mom and I continued dating, he became what seemed possessive.


Every time I shared a hug with my girlfriend, I was greeted with Scooby’s sharp canine teeth and high-pitched barking. My girlfriend assumed he was guarding her, but every time we stopped hugging, he became the happy-go-lucky dog that we knew. This became worse as we continued dating . Was he just guarding his mom? Was he just jealous that I was becoming his mom’s main man? There could be a simpler explanation for this behavior and if you and your spouse are tackling this situation at home, these four areas are worth looking into.


1. Our Dogs Are Splitting a Perceived Threat

Dogs don’t really understand hugging and kissing the way humans and primates do. Studying dog interaction, when two dogs have a potential conflict, an outsider dog may spring into action by walking in between the conflict. In an attempt to deescalate the perceived conflict, our dogs may be trying to split us up once they see us becoming too close.

2. Attention Seekers

It’s worthy to note that some dogs love attention. This is normally followed with tail wags, light barking, jumping, or face licks. You may experience the dog being pushy as they pry their way in the middle of you two. Of course, the dog isn’t being protective of either one of you. This is simply a demand for attention when they see the opportunity.

3. Resource Guarding of the Owner

This may stimulate a low growl, teeth showing, lunging, and sometimes even making a contact bite. This needs to be thoroughly assessed by a certified behavior consultant as triggering this behavior may be a bit deeper than what it seems. In that sense, "resource guarding" in this case is a very broad term. We should look at what is triggering the behavior than simply jumping to labeling it.

So, what is there to do in this situation? Punishment may worsen this behavior and leave the dog confused. Punishment also has the potential of ruining yours and your dog’s relationship despite the reason why it originally started.


Eliminating Fear

1. Desensitization/Gradual Positive Association Building One way to stop your dog’s unwanted behavior is to simply reinforce the small steps that you want to see. We must understand that humans hugging can stimulate fear in dogs. So, reinforcing the smallest behavior movements that lead up to you and your partner hugging will help them in the long run. This means to provide your dog a treat for your partner putting their arm on you. After consistent reinforcement of your dog explimlifying calm behavior to this, increase to the next step of having you and your partner get a little closer. Every time you and your partner lean in to each other, your dog should receive a delicious treat. If your dog seems a little tense or being vocal you are going too fast or the step you took was a bit too much. Decrease the steps to only what the dog can handle. With time and consistency, your dog will learn that you and your partner hugging is associated with good things.

2. Management with Positive Association Building Putting your dog in another room when you two hug is a simple way to prevent the stressful behavior happening in the first place. Sometimes providing a deliciously filled Kong as your dog remains on their place mat is suffice as you and your partner hug. This technique has the added bonus of positive association building. 3. Reinforcing an Incompatible Behavior This technique will need the utmost breakdown of training steps and will require the gradual steps in the first point of this blog. Ultimately, if your dog learns to go to a place mat every time you two hug, this can provide an effective long term solution. Break down the steps of "go to place" and pair it with hugging. The smaller the steps breaking down the ultimate end goal, the better.


4. Seek a Qualified Behavior Consultant Never put yourself in harm’s way. Seek a professional trainer if you feel like you and your partner may be in danger of a bite. Guidance from a professional trainer would also be able to help you break down the dog’s body language to help you understand why the dog is doing what it’s doing.


For more information on this article, email info@venturedogtraining.com or visit us at venturedogtraining.com

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